So here’s my basket. I was going to get a bathrobe and a pair of slippers but no dice… could not find a plain white terry cloth robe to save my fucking life today. I looked in EVERY store in the fucking mall. So instead I bought a shit ton of bath and body stuff including an air freshener like a decorative plug in (pumpkin scent), a pumpkin scented candle, a body poof, and pumpkin body gel, pumpkin lotion, two perfumes (random fragrances), I think three other bath gels and a couple more lotions ( i think three) idk… about 100 bucks worth of smelly froo froo crap. I hope that this is Ok.

Today was epically shitty. I’m sure most of you saw my husband’s post. Well, due to moving/packing and juggling 4 kids, i had myself a little nervous breakdown at the mall today. If I wasn’t rushing around at the last damn minute I’d be fine.

My mom agreed to watch all but one child, Jameson. Jameson was fine… well, I go to Wal-mart… proceed to smash my hand between the carriage and a wall. bleeding. I had to request a bandage from the first aid kit. awesome.

We go to the mall. I look for no lie, about an hour in all stores for a bathrobe and slippers that don’t look like an old lady from the trailer park just put it on a hanger for a quick take. Legit ugly shit in every single store, a whole lot of hello kitty bullshit…not happening. I was snapping at cashiers at this point as I was in full on asshole mode.

Gets better. I decide, fuck this noise, I’m trying on some clothes… I gotta doll my shit up for Saturday. Like not crazy dolled up, just something that isn’t stained or has holes in it. Ya’ know… classy shit.

Yeah so there i am in the macy’s dressing room. Trying stuff on. One outfit to be precise. In that amount of time, Jameson flips over in his stroller, and that’s when I discovered that he had shit his pants as his ass revealed a saturated ick of green diarrhea shit. Soaked through his pants diarrhea shit. OMG and the smell hit me.

Well when he took “the dive” so did the stroller which contained a new plastic item I purchased that shattered on the floor. Now I’m sweating and my pits reek of steamed hot dogs. seriously the scent was ungodly. combined with the shit stink.

Well, it gets EVEN better. A woman with two of her daughters comes in the same dressing room and they are carrying on about the smell and “how could they even stand the smell in there and she was leaving” blah blah…

Now I’m horrified and rushing to get out of the dressing room. I stop to apologize to the woman, and I am now frantically searching for the restroom. I couldn’t stop to pay for the items because this woman I just apologized to now knows my kid has shit in his pants.

Well, not wanting to put the items back on the rack, I brought them into the bathroom with me. Security was waiting for me outside the woman’s bathroom. They only questioned me, but it was hugely embarrassing. I never put them inside my bag and just explained the situation.

I know you can’t imagine this but it gets better. I lost my iphone… I think during the great carriage spill inside Macy’s. Truth is, i don’t even fucking care to call. That’s about when I broke down crying the second time today. The first time was inside macy’s around several people.

wtf. bad bad day. so how bout that basket!! hope this will be ok.

I did get the frames for the gift cards later girls, see you saturday. 3:30 pm